And Can It Be?

When things are tough, it's easy to lose sight of the basics of our faith. What Jesus went through to make us His own is our grounding for everything else in life. It's because of this that we can settle in our hearts, once and for all, that God is good, and that His love will never let us go. 

'Tis mercy all! Immense and free! :')

God WITH us!

The Apostle Paul tells us that some people see certain days as more important than others, while other people see each day as of equal importance. He says it doesn't matter which you are, as long as you're settled in your own mind and respect those who disagree (Romans 14:5-6).

I have to say that I am really in the latter group. I mean, I like Christmas, I enjoy it, but for me, God becoming a human being is just as important every other day of the year as it is on the 25th of December. That doesn't mean that Christmas doesn't have meaning. It's just that that meaning carries over the whole year.

But I suddenly feel that this 'meaning of Christmas' is coming home to me in a new way. A way that goes beyond (in a sense) the knowledge that God came to earth as a human being - though I don't mean to diminish the enormity of that for a moment. That alone would have been a staggering thing for Him to do. But that alone was not enough for Him.

God became a human being and lived a genuine human life. He showed that it can be done right. Then He chose to die a horrible death, carrying the guilt of all our wrong doing so that we wouldn't have to. And then He rose from the dead, proving that even death itself had no power over Him! Staggering, awesome, life-changing stuff! But even that wasn't enough for Him!

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Isaiah's prophecy (Isaiah 7:14) about Jesus calls Him "Immanuel", which means "God with us". It's this "God with us" that is taking on a new and deeper meaning for me.

We know that it means that God entered into human experience. But I believe it goes even deeper than that. God with us. God with us. Entering into human experience was not enough for Him. He enters into our individual experience. Right here, right now.

When Jesus sent 'the Comforter', the Holy Spirit (John 13:15-29), God came to 'make His home with us' (v. 23). That means God entering into our lives. Our real lives. That means God entering into all our individual personal crap. God entering into our whole experience of living. When we hurt, He doesn't just sympathise (though He does that too) - He feels that hurt. He lives through it with us.

There are lots of songs about God 'watching' us or 'looking down on us', and that is true, and many of them are great songs. But it is only a piece of the truth. It's not just "God above all my hopes and fears" (though I love that song!) - it's God in our hopes and fears. It's God living through that with us. It's not just God looking down on our storm, it's Jesus in the boat with us, feeling the lashing of the wind and rain. It's Jesus walking on sea, and reaching out to save us when we begin to sink.

When God asks us to endure things in this life, it isn't just on the basis of what He did for us 2000 years ago - although the immensity of that alone cannot be properly put into words! It's on the basis of what He is doing right now. Because He doesn't just ask us to endure these things - He endures them with us!

Last night, a friend and I were saying how we had lost faith in "one day" - that vague future time when everything gets better. But Jesus is with us now, in this day - right in the thick of it. Right in the middle of the hurt and confusion, God is with us! He is experiencing it too. I may not be able to see "one day" with any clarity, but I can believe in this day!

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For me, this is a big and vital part of the meaning of Christmas, and Easter, and the coming of the Holy Spirit: that Jesus went through all that, not only to save us from our sin and our sinful nature - even the enormity of that undertaking was not enough for Him! His love demanded more: the restoration of full communion with us. He suffered for us, partly so that He could go on to suffer with us. He wanted to come close to us in our sufferings; so close that He partook in them.

I believe this what He means when He says (John 13:27) that He leaves His peace with us: He leaves Himself with us, through the Holy Spirit. With us. This is not as the world gives - how could it? Only God Himself can come that close to any of us; can give Himself so completely. This is why our hearts do not need to be troubled or afraid. This is the wonderful 'togetherness', with Himself and the Father through the Holy Spirit, that he promises us (John 13:18-20). We will never be left alone again. Not ever.

There are no words to describe the staggering Grace of all this. I could pile it high with adjectives and superlatives, and it wouldn't make a dint. What did I ever do, that the perfect King of the Universe should enter into my little life in that way? What could I ever do to repay it or make it worth His while? The answer to both questions is, of course: nothing. But incredibly, He thinks it is worth His while!

The Grace of God is just so BIG! The more you learn about it, the bigger it gets! And there is ALWAYS more to learn!

"Thank you" is a woefully inadequate phrase with which to respond; but it's the best one we've got.

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At His Feet

Well, I am back from my Adventure! :D It was a good time with God, and I have returned feeling refreshed. I feel that I have gained some perspective on the situation, and some distance, which is perhaps as valuable.

Keeping a journal proved an effective way of processing things in my mind. I wrote it every day for the whole three weeks, which is the longest I have ever kept up something like that for! I am going to keep it up now I'm home, I think, though perhaps not every day now.

Sunday was fine. I went up on my mobility scooter rather than getting a lift. This served a number of purposes: it got me some fresh air, which is good for my health! It meant I could arrive at the start and leave at the finish, rather than having to be there extremely early and be the last to go, thus having a stupid amount of time on my hands when there was little to keep me from thinking about the fact that he was there. And it meant I could have time with God on the way there and the way back, with worship music on my MP3 player. I found all of this very helpful. :)

He took the time to greet me and smile on Sunday, which made things easier. After that we kept out of each other's way. I actually thought he was quite tactful and gentlemanly about it, which I'm glad of for his sake. And I didn't feel tense or awkward while I was there, which shows how far God has brought me! :)

I have reached the conclusion that the answer is not to make him (this guy I mean, not God! :D) the focus. He used to be the focus in a positive way - thinking when I would next get to see him and enjoying his company and wotnot. Then, after the Very Horrible Thing, he became the focus in a negative way - worrying about having to see him, and enduring the pain of his presence. I didn't fully realise this while I was in that place, but it now seems so screamingly obvious that I wonder how I could have failed to notice it.

Anyway, while I was away, I gained, as I say, some perspective and distance, and I believe it's important that I hang on to that mindset. I am trying not to slip back into worrying about seeing him, etc, but to simply focus on church as church - time when I can worship God with His people and perhaps do some good to a few people. It was always that as well, but this had somehow ceased to be the central thought in my head; I need to make sure that it is from now on.

And for life in general, my focus must be my relationship with God (obviously!) and getting on with what I ought to be doing - with the Purpose I believe God has for my life. Again, this sense of Purpose got slightly eclipsed somehow... or perhaps I just focused too much on that aspect of what I believed at the time that God wanted... At any rate, I don't believe that he ever eclipsed my relationship with God, or that I ever made an idol out of him. Certainly, I fervently hope that I was never guilty of that!

And as he is no longer to be the focus, the nature of this blog is likely to change somewhat from now on. I shall continue to write about God's faithfulness and healing, but shall probably refer less to this matter itself. I know there are still things that I am working through, but going over and over the same ground doesn't help anyone, and would be counterproductive.

Hmmm... I appear to have written a bit of an essay! :D

I'm going to finish with a song called "At Your Feet" by Casting Crowns. It is really 'the song of my life' at the moment, as a good friend recently put it in her blog. :) It almost feels too personal to share here, but I do so in the hope that it may help and encourage other folk. :)

It really is true that the more fully we surrender to God, the more free we are. Paradoxical, but true! And it brings a deeper peace than can be found or achieved in any other way. I am so thankful to my wonderful God for His faithfulness and grace to me. :')

More on God's Faithfulness...

I feel that tonight was a bit of milestone. Certainly, it was another outstanding example of God's faithfulness...

It was rather like the last Sunday night that I wrote about (see post "My So-Faithful God"), but even more so. His strength in me came through even stronger, and what, in the natural way of things, should have been an ordeal (it was last week! :S) was miraculously transformed into a peaceful victory - not over a person, you understand, but over circumstances and my own sinful nature.

I felt able to be natural and be myself for most of the evening, and to simply throw myself into the worship and enjoy it without many painful twinges... but it went beyond that. I had been praying that God would help me love "in a Jesus-y way" the person who hurt me and did not do right by me; and tonight, He really helped me to take a significant step along that road. I was able to make a gesture to show that I wasn't harbouring a grudge and that I still wished him well. It was only a small gesture, but it was a start! You might say it was one small step in the natural realm, but a giant leap forward in my walk with God! :'D

I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this is God at work in me and not 'my own power or goodness'. I know this because of all the times I have failed to do this in my past, including last week! And now I feel quiet and at peace inside, and I know that this, too, is God. Whatever other people may do to let us down or mess us about, He never does. He is always faithful and constant and utterly reliable. And He can bring out this aspect of His character in us (like all the other aspects) more and more as we walk with Him.

I've also been thinking about all the mercy I have received from God, and I want to be able to extend that to this person as well; I don't want to be like the servant in the parable who was cleared of a huge debt and then went and punished his fellow servant because he owed him a fiver. And again, I know absolutely that it is God who is giving me the strength to start along this path; and His grace is sufficient to keep me on it.

I am also very grateful that God is providing a few weeks of respite for me soon; I shall shortly be going on holiday for 3 weeks - the longest holiday of my life! - and the way the opportunities have all come together so quickly has God's goodness written all over it. The very fact that I can afford it is a small miracle in itself! :D

So basically, I am resting in the love and comfort of my Father, and am immensely grateful for His utterly consistent and amazingly generous goodness to me. :')

My So-Faithful God! :')

Well, God has surpassed Himself tonight. Talk about His grace being sufficient! He has ministered to me so much; He has even spoken to me through the actual pain itself! A lot of it is very personal, so I'm gonna have to have a think and pray about how much of it is appropriate to share here...

For now, suffice to say that He gave me a strength so far beyond my own that it was staggering. And that He has reassured me of His comfort and presence and love and PURPOSE in all of this. I do believe that this pain will bear fruit for the Kingdom and cause others to be spared such pain, and that I can leave a legacy to go on doing this even after I am dead. That is pretty flippin' amazing.

The other thing is that when we go through this kind of stuff, we have the privilege of sharing a little in His sufferings. Phil. 3:10: "I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the sharing of His sufferings by becoming like Him in His death..." When we surrender our will to God's will, even if it means accepting pain, we become a little more 'like Him in His death'. And this leads to knowing Him in a deeper way; a fuller intimacy with Him.

"No matter what circumstances come our way - God's grace is sufficient, and He has a purpose for your life... The joy of the Purpose is greater than anything else. God has a plan for you. Move. Stand. Don't compromise." - Nick Vujicic
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Watch This and Feel Better! :)

I first saw this video a few weeks before the Very Horrible Thing happened... I have since ordered a couple of this guy's DVDs, and God has really spoken to me through them. I believe God made sure that I had this stuff ahead of time because He knew that the storm was coming, and He knew that I would need them. He made sure I had the weapons in my arsenal before the battle came.

God knows what is coming, and He prepares us for it. And He provides everything we need. And His grace IS sufficient!

Anyway - if you have not already done so, watch the vid, it is one of the best uses of 4 minutes of your life. I promise, you will feel better after seeing this! :)
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